G r a v e s i d e
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: I didn't want you to be alone. Next in the 'Silver Ring' Series.


AN: Okay, so, just like I promised, here's the sequel to _Still Feel You Here._ Once again, the characters are kind of out of character, but that's what makes this series (that's right, I've decided to turn this into a series) so good. You get to see a different side of the people you've come to know and love. Once again, I'm going to ask that if you don't like this ship, don't read it, and don't spend your time writing a flame. Without any more yapping, here's the story.

**Title:**_** G r a v e s i d e**_

**Summary:** ''I didn't want you to be alone.''

**Pairing:** Sort of Dean/Ruby.

**Genre:** Angst/Hurt/Comfort

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Supernatural, or any of the characters.

G r a v e s i d e

In the months that have passed, she hasn't gotten any better, and she hasn't gotten any worse. She hovers somewhere between being okay and breaking apart. It's January now, four months have passed since the night she broke down. She still doesn't say much, it's not like she has anyone to talk to besides Joey anyways. And she's starting to forget. When she closes her eyes, she doesn't see him, and when she thinks about him, she can't quite picture him. Something's always missing. In some ways, it hurts more then when she was able to remember him.

Things change, time passes slowly, days drag on forever, and she starts to feel like she's not really here.

Joey offers her a job one day, with a small smile. ''You spend enough time in here, Ruby, why don't you let me pay you for it?''

She manages to throw him a wobbly smile in repsonse and puts out her cigarette in a dirty ashtray. ''Sorry, Joe, I'm not really a manual labor kind of girl.''

He shakes his head and sighs, but doesn't say anything else. She doesn't want a job, she doesn't want to have to talk to people, all she wants is to be left alone until death comes for her.

Time passes slowly, but she stands still, barely flinching as eight months pass since that night and Sam doesn't come, doesn't call. She doesn't care, he would have to leave anyways, and she's tired of losing Winchesters. Besides, he would just try to get her to go with him and keep fighting, and the last thing she wants to do is jump back into the world that destroyed Dean. She's done trying to have a purpose.

The time passing doesn't bother her.

Until one night.

She doesn't even realize the date until she's sitting in the bar, and two men come in, shaking snowflakes from their heads, deep in conversation. ''So, how've you been?''

''Oh, great, great.''

''Yeah? How's Carol and the kids?''

''Fine. Little Jenna just had her birthday.''

''Really? When?''

''The 22nd.''

Panic wells in her chest, and she closes her eyes, trying to breathe deeply, trying to remember how many days ago the 22nd was. She couldn't have missed it, she couldn't have. There's just no way. ''Joey,'' She grabs the passing man's arm and looks at him, eyes wide and fearful. ''What's the date today?''

''January 24th. Why?''

Without another word to the only friend she has in the world, she slides off the barstool and races out the door. She doesn't get very far before she stumbles back in and holds her hand out to Joey expectantly. ''I need to borrow your car.''

He blinks and looks her up and down. ''I don't know, sweetheart, do you even know how to drive?''

She sighs impatiently, and taps her foot on the dirty floor. ''Yes, Joey, I know how to drive. I promise you, just let me borrow your car for a few hours and I'll explain everything when I get back.''

He sighs, and retrives his car keys. ''You always get what you want. It's not fair.'' Hesitantly, and she suspects he probably thinks she's not going to come back, he hands her the keys. ''Don't crash it.''

''I'll do my best. Thanks, Joe.'' She pecks him on the cheek and smiles a smile that's barely there, and then she's out the door before he can say another word.

--00--

Eight months.

It's been eight months since he died.

She can't believe that. It doesn't feel like that long. It feels like only yesterday her hands were stained with his blood and it took all of Sam's strength to tear her away from the...from _the body_. As the car races down the highway, snow falling outside, her eyes blur and she shakes her head in an attempt to shake the tears away. Eight fucking months and she's still not any better. It still hurts to talk, it still terrifies her to go to sleep in an empty bed at night, hell, it hurts just to _breathe._ But that's not what surprises her. She expects the pain, she's used to the pain. What surprises her is that she's still_ here._ She still moves and breathes, and gets up in the morning even though he's not here. She doesn't live, she doesn't know how anymore. But she exists.

That's surprising, because she thought she would be gone by now.

She sighs and tries to focus on driving and nothing else, but can't manage to do so.

It's January 24th.

Dean's birthday.

It had come faster than she thought it would.

--00--

It's dark outside, pitch black, snow falling down like stars when she get's there. She couldn't care less. She's afraid of lots of things. The night isn't one of them. Adrenaline pumps through her veins as she takes off through the woods, pushing through branches and leaves just to get to him. Her eyes burn, her chest hurts, sharp branches cut through her flesh, and the freezing snow stings her exposed skin. When she finally pushes through into the clearing, the first thing she sees is the cross. Nothing else. She doesn't see falling snow, like angel's tears, she doesn't see the swaying trees, all she sees is the cross, the only thing left that proves he was here. She manages to stumble forwards a few steps and then falls to her knees in front of his grave, trying desperately to catch her breath. ''Hi,'' She breathes, and the truth hits her like a ton of bricks.

_He's here._

Six feet underground and not as pretty, but he's here with her and just the thought makes her chest ache with sobs. ''Dean,'' Her voice is broken now, completely destroyed. ''I didn't...'' She closes her eyes and tries to imagine he's right there in front of her. ''I didn't want you to be alone.'' She bites down on her lip and lets tears run down her cheeks, leaving stains on her pale as the falling snow cheeks. ''Not today.'' She draws in a deep shuddering breath and closes her eyes as a freezing wind ruffles her hair. ''Not on your birthday.''

She opens her eyes, somewhat reluctantly, and looks at the small white cross, barely there smile crossing her dry lips as she reaches out to touch it. ''I...I miss you, baby.'' She thinks the cross should feel rough, like wood, but under her fingertips, it feels smooth, like marble. ''I'm sorry, I....I'm sorry I haven't been to visit you.'' And it's stupid, she knows, to be talking as if he's really here, it's not logical, but she feels like he is, and that's enough for her. ''It's just....It's hard, Dean...living without you....it's _so_ hard. You know, some part of me feels like...like you should have been there all along....like before you, I was just waiting for you to come into my life. Maybe, in a different life...'' She pauses and tries to concentrate on breathing and making it through what she needs to say. ''...Maybe we wouldn't have ended like this...'' Her throat closes up and she can't say anymore, so she closes her eyes and pretends he's standing right in front of her, with a cocky smirk and eyes only for her.

A breeze brushes hair from her face and she swears she feels familiar fingertips on her cheek. A chill runs up her spine, but it's not from the cold. ''Dean?''

''_Ruby_,'' The wind whispers.

Her tears freeze on her cheeks and she's so cold she's shivering, but she doesn't care.

''Ruby?''

''Dean?'' Her eyes snap open and she scrambles to her feet, whirling around in the direction of the voice. Her heart beats irregularly and she gulps nervously, shifting from foot to foot. ''Sam,'' She whispers, and she can't help but be a little disappointed.

He doesn't say anything for a long time and she's wondering what's going through his head right now. Finally, she smiles weakly and hopes he doesn't notice how it doesn't reach her eyes. ''So...How've you been?'' And then, in her head, she smacks herself for asking such a stupid question. This is why she likes to keep her mouth shut. She doesn't expect him to answer that question, because, what's he going to say? He's probably been worse then her.

''I'm...I've been...'' Sam looks pained as he struggles for the right words to say. After forever, he sighs and shakes his head. ''I'm alive.''

And that's the end of that.

He starts towards her hesitantly, like he's afraid she's going to run away if he gets too close. ''How about you?''

Normally, at this point, she would start to stammer and her palms would get sweaty and she would look for any kind of distraction, any escape route. Talking to people is no longer her strong suit. Where a confident, smooth drawl used to live, a nervous stutter now resides. But today, without warning, the girl she used to be slips through the cracks and she smirks, putting on her mask. ''Me? Oh, I've been great, Sam. Barely making it through each day. You know the usual.''

He winces, and the falling snow in both their hair sparkles in the moonlight and makes them both look like they've got halos. Ironic, considering they're both far from angels. ''Ruby, I'm sorry I haven't called, or checked up on you, it's just after...after...he...'' Sam turns his gaze to the wooden cross. ''Seeing you....'' He trails off and gives up, with an exasperated sigh. ''Look, I'm sorry, can we just leave it at that?''

She forces herself to stay calm and tries to look like the girl Sam knew once upon a time. ''Whatever.'' She throws a look at the cross and wishes she could stay just a little while longer, because in the eight months he's been gone, she's never felt so close to him. ''I should go. It's late.'' She bends down and kisses her fingers, pressing them to the cross quickly, and vowing for it to be the last show of emotion Sam will ever see come from her. ''I'll come back soon, baby.'' She means what she says, she'll be back, when it's warmer, and she can sit for hours, as close to him as she'll ever get, and she'll dream about the life they should have had.

However, her plan for a quick getaway is frozen in time when Sam grabs her arm. ''Wait, Ruby, I didn't just come here to see Dean. I-I was hoping you would be here.''

She frowns and pulls her arm out of his grasp, because it feels too much like home, and she can't go back with Sam, she just _can't_. ''Why?''

He looks at her carefully, and she knows he's searching for the words he can't find. She wishes he would hurry up, she's starting to shiver and lose her composure. He takes a breath and trips over his words. ''You-You left so fast, Ruby. I never ...I didn't get the chance to tell you....to tell you that...well...'' He clears his throat, visibly uncomfortable with his next words. ''He really loved you, Ruby.''

Her breath catches, and all the false strength and confidence slide right off her face, and she's right back to being the grieving widow once again. ''He...'' Her breathing speeds up, dangerously close to hyperventilating. ''He did?''

Sam nods. ''I've...I've never seen him act like that around anyone else.''

She thinks she should probably say something now, but she has no idea what to say to that. What do you say when you learn your dead boyfriend loved you more than you ever knew? Sam doesn't give her a chance to come up with something to say, though, because he pulls something shining and silver out of his pocket and gives her one of those tortured Sam Winchester smiles that's not really a smile. ''He told me...He said...that he wanted you to have this.'' She recognizes the object now. It's Dean's ring, the one she thought had been buried with him. ''But, then, after the...the burial, you just left so fast and I never got the chance to give it to you. And then, I was going to come here anyways tonight, and I thought there was a good chance you would be here, so - ''

''Sam!''

He stops talking and she gives him a cheeky grin, feeling laughter bubbling in her throat. It's a peculiar feeling really, because she hasn't laughed in God knows how long. ''You sound just like him when you ramble.''

''You want the ring or not?''

He holds out the ring and ignores her comment. She imagines it's probably because he's unsure if it was an insult or a compliment. She doesn't take it, but crosses her arms uncomfortably. ''Sam, I...I don't....I-I mean, don't-don't you want it?''

Sam's dark eyes meet hers and he says a million and one things without saying a word. It's a long moment before he speaks again. ''Dean wanted _you_ to have it, Ruby.''

When she reaches for the ring, she notices her hands are shaking. It's too big for her, that's not surprising, but it was his. That's enough. It's not a diamond, but he loved her enough to leave it for her. That's more then enough for her.

Sam moves past her, towards the cross, she barely notices, and remains standing in the same spot, staring at the ring on her finger that should mean more then it does. She waits just one more moment and then turns around. ''Sam?'' There's desperation in her voice, and his name sounds like a plea on her lips. He looks up right away. ''We're..'' She swallows down a cry and doesn't even bother to blink when tears fill her eyes. ''We're going to be okay, right?''

Sam stands and moves closer to her. Slowly, he nods and throws a half smile in her direction, a pathetic attempt to comfort both of them. ''Eventually.''

She blinks then and sniffles, looking away through falling snow. ''I should go.'' Her voice sounds haunted and lost, and she wonders if she'll ever be able to return to the way she was before. She thinks probably not.

He takes one last step towards her and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. ''Be careful.''

She smiles through her tears. ''Always.'' She turns to go, prepared to make her way through the darkened woods again, but something makes her turn. ''I'll see you around, Sam.'' She winks, and smiles at him, even though she knows it's a lie.

She doesn't expect to see Sam Winchester again.

--00--

It's a longer walk back to the car then she thought, and when she finally reaches Joey's car - which she figures she should get back to him before he sends out a search team - there's a layer of snow on the car, she's shivering, and she's positive her lips are blue. When she finally manages to brush all the snow off the car, she slides into the driver's seat and only then does she notice the sleek, black, familiar car parked across the street.

Her world shifts, in an all too familiar way, and she finds herself reliving happier times, and wishing yesterday was today.

_''Dean!''_

_She shrieks, and she tries to sound frustrated, really, she does, but she can't quite manage to keep the smile from her voice as she tries, unsuccessfully, to push the elder Winchester off of her. ''What are you doing?'' She murmurs against his lips. ''Sam'll be back any minute.''_

_''He can watch.''_

_His hands move up her shirt and she sighs overdramatically. ''Men and sex, I don't get it.''_

_''Well, that's 'cause you're not a man.''_

_''Hmm, nope. I'm all woman, baby.''_

_He smirks and her heart does that jumpy thing she's become used to. ''Oh, believe me, darlin', I know.''_

_''Okay,'' She pushes him off her and sits up. ''If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. I get to be on top.''_

_''But you're always on top.''_

_Ignoring his whine, she pushes him back into the driver's seat and straddles him, eyes sparkling with mischief. ''This is a very dangerous position, Dean, I hope you know that.''_

_''Wouldn't be fun without the danger, babe.'' His green eyes move to the window, making sure his brother won't have to see something he shouldn't. No Sam. ''You know,'' He drawls, lazily. ''I usually like a little warning before - ''_

_''Dean,'' She leans down, strategically placing her lips inches away from his. ''I'm going to kiss you now.''_

_His hands find her back again and he holds her tight against his body. ''Sounds good to me.''_

_She kisses him hard on the lips, and it doesn't take long before her tongue slips into his mouth. She's so distracted, she doesn't see where his hand is until the seat plunges backwards and his laughter fills the car._

_''Dean!''_

The world shifts once more and she's back in the car on the snowy night, wishing she could have stayed in her memories forever. Her eye catches the silver ring on her finger and she's forced to remember that this ring and the jacket she has at home are the only parts of him she'll ever have. The thought makes her vision blur and her heart hurt. It doesn't take alot to break her these days and soon she's sobbing into her hands, mentally screaming for him to come back to her, wondering if it's possible to die of a broken heart.

_''We're going to be okay, right?''_ Her voice echoes in the howling wind outside the car.

_''Eventually.''_

**end**

AN: So, there you have it. I decided to add a little flashback in there because without it, Dean wouldn't have been in it at all. At least in the last one, his voice was heard. And I know in the show, Dean was only gone for four months, but I did warn you in the last one that this series doesn't go along with anything that happened in season four. Anyways, the next story should be coming soon. Probably tomorrow or the day after. For those of you who are just counting the days until his return, you don't have to wait too long.

Happy birthday, Dean Winchester!

Kisses, Becks!


End file.
